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I came into this man's life when he was totally down. He had no food, no money, his legs were full of sores. I helped him clean up his house, it was infested with bug mites. Now the house is bug-free. Instead of a thank you from the neighbors, I get accused of exploiting his money and taking advantage of him. Mind you this man has dementia, not too bad, but does not know how to cook. I do everything for this man. Wash his clothes (sometimes he messes his pants). I cook, clean house and everything. I live here in his home, but he does not pay me. Now I am getting accused of this. What does a person do about this?

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This is an August question.
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First Off It Takes Guts To Do What You Already Have For This Old Man You Take Care Of It's Not Easy & It Can Get Complicated As Time Goes On Especially With An Elderly Person With Onset Alzheimer's/ Dementia, Second Off, The Next Door Neighbor's Are Either Bizzy Bodies Or They Are Pissed Off Because They Can't Keep Using That Old Man,That You Are Taking Care Of & Live With Now, Because If These So Called Neighbors Did Really Care About This Elderly Disabled Man, Guess What They Are Blaming You For Their Missdeeds That They Did, It's Like A Bully Acussing The Person They Pick On, They Turn It Around To Make Them Seem Innocent Instead Of The Person They Are Bullying, Be Careful With The Way You Talk With These Neighbors Infact Stay Away From Them All Together That Way There's No Way They Can Use Anything To Mess With Your Relationship With The Old Man You Take Care Of, Because Some People Get Jealous & Take Advantage Of Calling Social Services For Any Little Thing They Can Report To Social Services, Be Very Careful With This Fact, Nosie People Are Usually People That Like To Start Problems Because That's What They Do !!!, Third Thing, Ask This Old Man Your Taking Care Of With His Daily Needs To Make Official Record Of Your Caregiving Of Him Have Him Tell His Primary Health Care Doctor That You Are Helping Him With His Daily Needs & Would Like It If His Primary Health Care Doctor Makes A Note Of This, Also Try To Find Out If The Old Man Has Any Relatives & Try To Contact Them If You Can Get Their Information, This Is Important To Do Very Soon As Well, Just In case He Has A Son Or Daughter Ect... You Don't Know Anything About His Back Ground, & Legally It's A Good Thing To Do So No Future Legal Trouble May Cause You Any Problems, You Never Know What Will Happen In The Future Especially When This Old Man Passes Away, These Are A Good Start To Help You Figure Out Your Present & Future Standing's, It Might Seem A Little Scary But It's Better Now Then Latter & Things Go Crazy On You, This Can Protect You & The Old Man Your Caring For, It's A Big Responsibility Legally & Moralely Too, Paperwork Could Be Added Later On With Help Of An Elderly Law Associate In The Near Future, Well Take Care & God Bless Your Path Of Taking Care Of This Old Man Sincerely; Kim1313
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bonnie34 Nov 18, 2023
Please, Kim: your message is so hard to read with all caps with each word. Not a friendly format! I think your advice is good, but I can hardly get through your message. Thanks for considering!
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You owe these neighbors no explanation. You call APS and tell them you are the aide and being harassed by the neighbors. Ask forvan investigation so APS can confirm you are taking care of this man and there is no exploitation on ur part. Ask that the findings be sent to the neighbors. By calling them yourself, any complaints may not be considered. You may be given resources to help with his care.
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hmmm so, your client and you are in some sort of relationship hence the POA. Client and you have a long relationship spanning 13 years and it sounds like at least a fair portion of this time you spent in his house, caring for the houseplants, cleaning the messes, killing the vermin, and keeping this client safe from his own impairment.
So, are you client /caregiver, or significant other?
The rest of my answer is based on this clarification
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https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-can-i-do-to-keep-my-client-from-wandering-482839.htm

This is the second question you have posted about maybe getting in trouble for helping this man. Are you the aid or the man.

If APS is called there will be an investigation. You need to prove that ur innocent. His bank statement should show his money is being spent on him. Any credit cards have been used for him. From what you have posted, APS should have been called for this man and the State take over his care.
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daniel47 Aug 2023
I am the aid. and yes if the neighbors were so concerned they should have called the APS when he really did need the help. Now that he is all good they like to get involved. I already gave them all the information they need. I need some kind of confirmation from them but never get it.
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For the first question. No. And for the second question, I am not getting a salary because when I first got here this man had nothing, his son had taken everything. For the third question, No the neighbors never spoke to me before they called the APS they just assumed. and for the last question. yes, he has a son that lives in California. This man asked me to come and help him in his home. I was his neighbor for about 12 years. I met him through a friend that was a roommate who was employed by this man. since then one neighbor right next door admitted that she was wrong because I confronted her and said to her I need friends, not fake ones. She then admitted that she had called APS. And that she regrets it today. I don't think that the APS is going to stop.
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NeedHelpWithMom Aug 2023
I am sorry that you are dealing with this. I hope that you are going to be paid for your services soon. You should be paid for your services.
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If you are innocent, I hope that the facts speak for themselves.

I guess the neighbors are suspicious of you being there? Were the neighbors involved in this man’s life before you came along? It sounds like he was pretty much on his own before you moved in.

Why aren’t you getting a salary?

Have the neighbors spoken directly to you before the police became involved?

Does this man have family? Who hired you? How did you meet this gentleman?
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