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I hired a van service that transports wheelchair users back & forth to take my mother from a rehab SNF to her Memory Care Assisted Living community. She's always on her very best behavior with others vs. not so much with me. I paid $100 to transport her about 4 miles, well, SHE paid it actually, but it was well worth the money because there was no drama whatsoever.

Best of luck!
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Beatty Nov 2019
Good tip. We struggled for hours getting Mum into the car for a respite stay. Next one due early 2020. I had been thinking of the wheelchair taxi - like your Mum - best behaviour for others. Decision made.
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Different people have different approaches, but, you are justified in your concern, because, if things break down, you may be limited in your options.

With my LO, the only way I was able to get her to agree to get into the car, go inside, and stay at AL, was that at that time she was able to process what her doctor said. Her doctor told her that she HAD to enter AL. (Reality was that she was not able to live alone due to significant dementia. If LO refused to go, she would have reported it to APS. Doctor told me she would not let this go. So, I worked on the plan, while I cared for her. ) The spin that I put on it with LO was that she was entering for rehab. That she would stay there while she got her medication adjusted, physical therapy for mobility and balance, nutrition on track, (she had lost a lot of weight), etc. And, I would take care of her cat. She didn't like it but, she went. I sense that she secretly was scared and knew she needed AL. She did get all of those things at the regular AL, but, of course, her dementia progressed very quickly and I had to soon move her to a Memory Care unit by doctor's prescription. By this time, she had no issue with going as she had little orientation to time and space.

The regular AL , that she entered first, did tell me that they would not be able to keep her there against her will. They were not a secure facility and while they may be able to delay her leaving, by begging her to let them call me before she left. They could not prevent her from leaving if she called a cab and just left on her own accord.

So, I might get a consult with an Elder Law attorney about where you stand. Even with a Durable POA, you may see some difficulty. I'd get my options. No one wants the sheriff's department to have to transport, but, I'm sure it's sometimes necessary, if someone is completely resistant. I'd be hesitant to physically engage with her, because, either of you could get hurt.
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rovana Nov 2019
You make excellent points - it is crucial to understand what type of facility elder is going into, the legal aspects of keeping them there, etc.  So no surprises and you know your legal footing.
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Hire medical transportation to convey her from wherever she is now to the facility.

My mom grabbed the steering wheel....once.

From then on, she was transported by professionals.
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Babs75 Nov 2019
That's what we did with my dad from the hospital to the facility. There was no way I wanted anyone to have to deal with him in the car. As I said above, it has been 2 months now and he has finally quit asking to go home. He had what we think was a blood sugar incident (he's diabetic) at the AL yesterday but luckily they recognized he was having a problem and called the paramedics. All is fine now but another reason that he can't stay on his own.
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