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My husband has parkinsons and still wants to do things his way. He is falls frequently and has hurt himself - lots of cuts, scabs, wounds, and a few rib fractures. He often times doesn't listen to the helper, not matter who - family member or hired help. He accuses them of being lazy and asks them to do the impossible. I have told them if they quit, he will have to go to AL,.I feel sorry for the guy as he's bored and wants to socialize, travel, and do what he use to be able to do. Retirement with parkinsons is not easy.Any advice?

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Your husband may have Dementia which is why he is not aware of his short comings. It goes hand and hand with Parkinson's.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Sorry for your situation. So hard. He's going to keep falling. Just reconcile yourself to that. I'm not surprised he doesn't listen to his caregivers. Most of them don't! My mom is pretty good with hers but due to her short term memory loss, she can't remember to do what she's asked.

If he's bored - what does he like to do that he can still do? Give him some busy work to keep his mind and hands busy.

Socializing - I like the suggestions for going to the senior center or adult daycare.

Travel is probably out of the question. I stopped taking my mom anywhere a few years ago. It was just way too much.

Good luck.
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Reply to againx100
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Is there a Senior Center near you that has activities that he could participate in? You or a caregiver could bring him and either join in or just bring a book to read.
I would suggest an Adult Day Program but he might be a bit more active than most of those participants although I have seen programs where to do go on outings, have a wide variety of things for participants on all levels.
I have to ask is he also diagnosed with LBD? If so that might be part of the problem in understanding the need for caregivers as well as not understanding your "ultimatum" with the need for caregivers vs Assisted Living.
LBD is difficult as many medications given for anxiety can not be given to someone with LBD.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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So sorry you are going through this.

Some people never give up there control right to the end. I've given up on hoping mom will stop doing things she shouldn't. She will never stop and she will continue to keep hurting her degenerative spine, no matter how much I go and how much I do. It's probably her anxiety, but there is nothing more I can do. It is what it is.

It's horrible to watch , when you now what's best and they won't listen. There is only so much one person can do, specially when you are dealing with stubbornness.

🙏😞
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Advice, stick to exactly what you’ve told him, if the helpers quit, he will move to assisted living. Knowing your limits in this is wise
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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If your husband is so "bored and wants to socialize" then an assisted living facility will be right up his alley as they offer a lot of activities and he will be around lots of folks his age to socialize with.
And you would get back to just being his wife and advocate and not his overwhelmed caregiver.
I'm sure it's hard for any of us to have to give up our independence, thus why he's not wanting to listen to anyone.
And as far as the falling, that is going to happen regardless if he's listening to his caregivers or not. That's part of Parkinson's.
You have your hands full for sure, and it will have to come down to making decisions that are not only best for your husband but for you as well.
God bless you.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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cover9339 Aug 6, 2024
One of the activities is sitting in front of the tv most if not all day.
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