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Are you in the US?

Is your mother receiving public benefits, like SNAP, Medicaid?

Your mother sounds mentally unwell. Children should not have to pay for parental support at the expense of their own financial well-being.

In your shoes, I would guide mom to your town's social support agency and let them help her apply for benefits.
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kimino Jun 2022
Unfortunately she is not in the US :(

"Mentally unwell". This word makes sense in some ways.
Thank you for highlighting this new perspective!
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Your mom is way too young to be doing this to you. It is not on you or sister to be paying her rent or anything else.

Regarding children, only you can ultimately decide. If you decide yes, don’t have her babysit as this will ultimately make her believe she is even more entitled to any part of your life.
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kimino Jun 2022
Well noted! Thank you for your opinion :)
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"I am here to help people find a way, not be the way!" Well said Beatty....SPOT ON! I stand by that completely!
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There is a wise poster called JoAnn29 - I hope she times in. She says:

"My new mantra...I am here to help people find a way, not be the way".
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JoAnn29 Jun 2022
Thank you Beatty, made my day.
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Your Mother is 52?

Expects be taken care of.. as a "dependant aging parent"?

She must be joking right?

She has 15 yrs until legal retirement age (where I live).

She sounds more like an entitled 15 yr old.

Time to pull her finger out, get a job & a life plan.

Or are there major health issues/disabilities to hurdle?

If she needs help, offer encouragement to find such help.. a Life Coach, Therapist or Mental Health support.
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kimino Jun 2022
She's still healthy. Thinking about this 1000 times, I still can find the logic behind her attitude. But anyway thank you for your opinion, it means a lot :)
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Your mother probably isn’t old enough for any pension available where she lives, but is there any reason why she can’t get a job? At 52, virtually everyone needs to get their own income. If you stop supporting her, will your sister pick up all the slack, or can both of you opt out so your mother has to find work?

At age 26 and newly married, you and your husband should be thinking about your marriage and enjoying your youth. A gap to settle down the marriage before you have children is a good idea for most people, but ‘decisions’ right now are NOT a good idea. Your intentions for children should NOT be made on the basis that you have to support an irresponsible parent.
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kimino Jun 2022
Thank you for your opinion, this means a lot.
FYI, she can't get a job.. Because she doesn't want to work. I persuade her to open small kiosk so that she can make her own living but she said she has no confidence to do business or start something new. She always told me "I don't even know what should I do with my life...". This is so depressing.
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