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Good Lord, She is asking about AL, not funerals. Cremation, funeral, and burial should be no more than $3500 in 2016. If you scatter the ashes, $1800. If you really need that gold plated titanium casket with humidity and temperature control, then you probably do need a funeral insurance policy. AL costs a lot, funerals should not. AL is just a lot more emotionally draining.
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All of these are good suggestions. I don't know how old your mom is or her condition but I agree with the fact that a lot of older adults remember NH being dark and cold and food awful. What i did for my inlaws was to pick out 3 Facilities that I thought they would like, then went for a tour (with lunch or dinner) then I let THEM decide which one they liked to let them feel like they had a say. (they didn't know I had been to about 25 and narrowed it down to the 3). Unfortunately I didn't have that choice with my mom with her dementia. I did look at 2 and one wasn't acceptable to me but she wouldn't have known it. And I completely understand with you wanting to go with your husband. I also want to travel and CAN take short trips but no cruises or exotic getaways due to still caring for my 95 year old father. Many drs. appts. plus he relies on me for everything which I must say it is 50% my doing. After he had his heart attack I was the only caregiver and lived with him for 6 mos while he recovered. My sister had to work and also took care of her grandson. She always felt guilty for not being able to help more but knew I was the better one to do it. Here is a question......is there no way your brothers can take her for a time and all three of you share in the care? At least while you go with your husband once in a while? Good Luck and God Bless.
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