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I am going through a very nasty divorce. They seem to be on their her side. My 80-year-old father didn’t like a comment I made about my so-called narcissist wife. Out of the blue, he attacked me. Hit me in the shoulder in the arm twice and for an eight year-old man he still got a hit. It still hurts when he hits. When he figured that didn’t work, he threw a full can of beer on me which I hate beer. I hate the smell of beer. I hate everything about it because I’ve grown up watching him. Drink too many a day as a kid. I can’t remember if he really ever spanked me a bunch as a young kid did other things but never really abused me never really got along. Couple years ago at 70 something he fell off the roof trying to put Christmas lights up after he told not to he did it anyway and fell off the ladder into the driveway and still this day and it was the middle Covid still see that in my head when I was at the hospital, which was brutal to see a man that was so big and strong crying like a little baby asking for help. He has lost his filter because of his notions and meanness has gotten worse. My mom even complained about it. But here’s the kicker I said something he didn’t like it and he jumped at me like scared the living crap out of me, hit me twice and threw a whole can of beer on me and then when he went to go grab my shirt and start choking me because I was trying to walk away And push back did not realize he was standing on the bottom of the stoop. He fell and broke his hip. I had enough of the whole thing over the years pretty much told him like it was that I didn’t care what happened. Walked away and got in my car and left and called the police made a report they wanted to rest him for simple battery and I said no, I plead it too because it is still my father. He’s 80 years old and he would never made it in there. Now the whole family has turned against me from my brother the oldest one that threatened to kick my ass and everything else for what I did and I didn’t do anything. I just pushed them away to get them off of me and left. My police report. Says I am the victim , so wrong because they’re trying to get on elder abuse. It’s gone as far as when I picked up the police report because they were going to send it to me one way or another. I want to go also pick up a police report of what my wife had done to the house. that’s when I went to go get. And they handed me the other one too, said they had to hand it to me so because it in Georgia, they send you a letter that I picked it up. I figured I’d tell my mom when I told her that I had it. She didn’t even let me finish she went off the handle told me to get the heck out of the house that I was no longer part of the family that I was a piece of crap, and all I was gonna tell her was I was gonna rip it up and throw it away. Now I have it hidden in my car because unfortunately, because of the restraining order that I had put on me that I apparently busted her lying again and then believing her the TPO officer has my address. Is there which qualifies me to stay there and I got no friends left because of my wife, they didn’t want to deal with it so I have nowhere to go. I’m still at my parents house with the rats. I got chewed up by fleas a bite on my leg and my backside that got infected. I made them get an exterminator. I feel like I’ve lost my family in a time in need anyway like they literally said it with her told me that I’m full of crap and that’s why she’s leaving me because of what I did to my father I probably did it to my wife. no I didn’t. I’ve never laid a hand on that woman. I never laid a hand on anybody. I used to be a human doormat. I let people walk all over me, including my parents. So am I wrong or right for pushing him away because the police said I’m in the right they labeled me as the victim. My mother can’t remember things very well so she writes it down and I found it and it says we want to charge you with elder abuse. I’ve lost my trust in them

You can't choose your family but you can choose whether or not you interact with them, ever. You should divorce your whole family. Keep away from them and start fresh. With family like, who needs enemies?
Helpful Answer (6)
Reply to Geaton777
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I think the police are on OPs side. My confusion is if Mom kicked you out and there is a restraining order, how can you be living with your parents?

First, stop sharing your divorce problems. I understand the doormat thing and when u start sticking up for yourself its "Oh my!" and people get p****d. You need to get away. Get what your entitled to in the divorce. Have her buy u out of half the house or force a sale so you have money to start over. Then start over. You may have to apologize to everyone to get back into their good graces. Chalk it up to stress from the divorce.

You did not do wrong. Dad attacked you and trying to get away he got hurt. The police report was a good thing it protects u from APS. But the part about Dad at Christmas and a few small things really have nothing to do with what went on with Dad. Reread and condense it down. 🙂
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Well---that was a read and a half.

You say you aren't and haven't been abused--uh, yeah, you were and are being abused, if your post is true.

I honestly couldn't really follow it--but I did catch that you are living with the rats at Mom & Dad's?

You have to be at least in your 50's. Do you not work? Do you not have a home? Are you incapable of standing on your own two feet? (I'm not being mean, I truly am concerned).

Your dad sounds like an abusive a-hole. Stay away from him.

Your soon to be ex wife will be your ex wife. DO NOT share the dirty details of your marriage/divorce with the world.

Your mom isn't on your side.

Time to leave this nightmare of a family and make a place for yourself, without all the drama.

Even tho your father is 80, he can obviously still physically hurt you. Nobody needs to put up with that. Walk away. Start a new life. Live with a roommate or in low income housing if needs be.

Look for peace and keep away from your family. It sounds horribly toxic.

Honestly--please gather your thoughts and come back and re-write your story. I don't think anyone can help you b/c we really can't make sense of your post.

I do wish you good luck in breaking free from the family. Families are great, until they're not. As far as placing blame--sounds like there's plenty to go around.
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Reply to Midkid58
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First of all, I'm having a hard time following your story,

Your divorcing you narcissist wife?

Your dad was mad, he attacked you and pushing him off you he fell broke his hip.

Is that about right?

If the cops say it you where attacking and so does the police report. I'm thinking police would never take the side of the younger male unless there was extreme good evidence that you were telling the truth.

I suspect your dad has some serious dementia going on after his fall of a ladder.

And your family had better get your dad help before your mom , a neighbor or anyone else gets hurt
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Anxietynacy Jun 16, 2024
Read it again , now I'm really confused, so not sure about anything I said.
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Like I said earlier I'm confused, but I will say , my family took my husbands side, became best friends with my brother. Before divorce they didn't like each other. Anyways I really regret not walking away from my family. I should have!! Now I'm in this part time caregiving to a narssasist mom.

There is nothing more painful than being rejected by your own mother. So I feel your pain.

So don't make my mistakes, run , run as far away as you can get!!
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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Space,

I find your post to be very confusing.

Did you say your wife has a restraining order on you?

Restraining orders are hard to get. Your wife had to have proof of wrongdoing in order to obtain the restraining order.

A judge doesn’t hand out restraining orders to anyone who is asking for one.

So, I am inclined to believe that there is more to this matter than you are willing to accept.

As far as your dad goes, it sounds like you had a miserable childhood and that you still don’t have a good relationship with him or others in your family.

I don’t think that you intentionally tried to harm your dad.

Unfortunately, your family doesn’t seem to be able to solve issues in a rational manner. You cannot control their behavior.

Sometimes, the kindest thing that people can do for each other is to
stay out of each other’s lives. Leave them alone and don’t allow them to interfere in your life.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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