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My grandma was placed in hospice yesterday, we ended dialysis after 7 years. She has missed 2 sessions of dialysis today and her edema is showing, in her hands mostly. She has tears in her eyes and I suppose it's due to the fluid in her body but she also seems to be in pain and I have given her morphine. I am so overwhelmed and don't know where to turn. The nurse said he would be back in 15 days. I don't think my grandma will make it that far and I honestly don't want to see her in such bad condition any longer.


My mom and sister are here but they always turn to me for reassurance.


Have any of you dealt with such? How did you cope? Was it traumatizing to see your love one gasp for air? What to do in a moment of panic?


This is very scary experience for me and I am filled with grief over my grandma.


I called hospice earlier and the nice lady told me she would have the nurse answer my question and she would call me back. She did about 45 minutes later.

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So sorry that your grandma isn't doing well and that you are the one who is pretty much in charge. That's a lot.

Did hospice talk to you about what to expect? Morphine is probably going to be the only thing that will keep her comfortable. I'm sure it is overwhelming and very sad. I imagine hospice is available to talk to you about how to handle the end-of-life things that will be coming your way? If not, I'd call. Or google it.

Just remember that it's her time to go and that dialysis. has been keeping her alive. I'm sure her quality of life couldn't have been good. It's time. Let her go in peace and with as little pain as possible.
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Stopping dialysis seems to be causing major changes immediately. I’m not knowledgeable about ending dialysis, but waiting 15 days for the next medical visit sounds too long to me. If hospice started yesterday, you should have been given much more information then. If this hospice service is either not good or else is overwhelmed by demand, see if you can find a better service.
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You're doing what I did with my dad. I was about where you are when I called hospice and said, "I can't do this anymore." There was a nurse there two hours later, and they didn't leave until my dad died the next day.

You can call them any time of day or night, so do it if you're worried or scared. You are not expected to do "the end" alone. They're there for you.
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Call the agency. Fifteen days is too long for an RN not to check on a client. It should be at least 2x a week no less than once a week. Your grandmother is actively dying. I would think the Nurse would be there often. The two friends I had that stopped dialysis, were gone within two weeks.

If you get nowhere with the agency, call another one.
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We had someone in every single day after dad went on Hospice. 15 days is WAY too long.

You wouldn't be given adequate amounts of the EOL drugs to last 15 days--so that's one bad sign. Call and get someone out, pronto.

Perhaps the nurse said "15 days or sooner if you need me". They do have several patients and are run kind of ragged at times.
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A hospice nurse is not only supposed to respond to any calls you make to them in a timely manner, but are also supposed to come be with you and your grandma any time you ask them to. That's their job. And 15 days till next visit is RIDICULOUS!!! You may have to switch to another hospice agency.
Your grandma should ideally not be in any stress or discomfort, so if she is, they(hospice)needs to fix it ASAP.
Your grandma may also need to put on oxygen to help her breathing as well. I can tell you from personal experience, you HAVE to stay on top of the hospice staff to make sure that your loved one is getting the care they need and deserve. I wish you and your grandma the very best.
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