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My dad (78) has Parkinson's, and my mom (70) has Alzheimer's. How do I go being paid and maybe even compensated for the last 3 years? They have Medicare and my dad gets SSDI. My dad is a veteran, but he isnt getting any benefits from the VA because I guess he thought he don't need it? Should I look into that for him? What is he missing out on?

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Consult with a lawyer that deals with family law in your location. Also, contact the local VA about his benefits.
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As everyone else has told you, retroactive pay will only happen if your parents can pay you. Consider getting your CNA or GNA certificate. It is a short course and will qualify you as a paid caregiver at a higher rate from any third party payor.
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Definitely look into VA benefits. Given his age, I am guessing he served during the VietNam era and there are many benefits for which he may qualify.
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Hi. I’m wondering, is your primary concern about your dad’s potential benefits, or your trying (rightfully) to obtain compensation for your time, labor, and sacrifice? Or both? Thanks for being here and clarifying.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
I believe it’s both.
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SUNNYLYNN: It may be deemed next to impossible to receive retroactive pay. Going forward is a separate issue to discuss with your parents. Your father should peruse the Veterans Administration.

I received zero salary for taking care of my poverty stricken mother.
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ventingisback Jul 2023
I remember you said you have a brother; he didn’t help. Was there any inheritance? It should have gone all to you.

(Ventingisback)
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Yes, pursue the VA benefits. If eligible, they have programs that can do some in-home care and you might be able to be paid as a caregiver. Your mom might be eligible because of dad's veteran status as well.

If your dad is getting SSDI, assuming you mean he started getting his Social Security because he became disabled prior to being eligible for Social Security based on age alone. The amount he gets is based off of his earnings when he worked. Does he have any other income from employment retirement or other income producing assets? Their income is considered for various programs. Are they wealthy people who can afford 3 years of back pay and monthly going forward? Your best bet is to consult an elder or estate attorney to help you decide about being paid and setting things up the right way and avoid problems later on when you really need some help for them.

The amount of Social Security (and other income) will determine if one or both of them might be eligible for some Medicaid services. You can apply online or visit a local office to see if they are eligible for some in-home services (minimal number of hours per week to help them in the home) or perhaps to have their Medicare Premiums paid each month. Keep in mind these Medicaid services will include an agreed 'Recovery' form in the application packet (form is called MERP). MERP will look at assets that remain in the estate after death and see if they can recover money that was paid on parent(s) behalf when they needed help. Ex: Their house value won't be counted during the time they get Medicaid, but if it's left in the estate at time of death, Medicaid will evaluate the situation to see if they can recover money paid out and if they can, it would come out of the sale of the house. Medicaid is not a freebie. Think of it as a loan of funds to provide medical services during their life. And, Medicaid does not always collect off of the leftover assets - a child who lived with parent(s) in the home for a period of time would not be tossed out of the home. Medicaid would decide not to recover any funds and allow child to remain in the home.

If you are considering compensation for the past 3 years - you need to discuss with elder attorney. It sounds like you had no employee/employer contract between yourself and parents when your caregiving began. If you want payment from this point forward, the atty can help you set up your contract the right way. It will be reported as income for you and you'll be reporting it on IRS records to pay taxes.

If you simply start paying yourself and one/both parents run out of money and needs Medicaid to pay for a nursing home bed, Medicaid will look back 5 years to see how their money was spent down. Payments to yourself could be considering gifting and create a penalty period where you would have to find funds yourself to pay for the NH bed for a certain period of time. Best to consult atty.

If your parents are wealthy and there is more than enough money to pay you, in-home help as needs grow larger, and will cover all their expenses for the rest of their life - then you may be free to spend as you like. Just consider how much different facilities charge per month in the event you can't do this on your own in the home any longer. Cost for facility care is different everywhere and can be thousands of dollars a month. An aunt of mine in Calif was paying about $10K per month for facility that handled Alzheimer's patients.
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NoTree Jul 2023
Paying someone for Caregiver services is only considered GIFTING IF they were not treated as employees and appropriate taxes paid quarterly. If it is a spouse receiving the caregiver pay, he or she only declares the income and pays income taxes, the quarterly taxes do not apply to a spouse.
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Did your dad serve at or train at Camp Lejeune? I know a person whose husband served there, developed Parkinson's, and now gets free in home care basically 24/7. I don't know if you yourself can get paid, but your parents definitely are eligible for VA benefits. I also have an older friend who served stateside during the Korean war. He gets about $2300 a month for care needs for him and his wife from VA in addition to his SS income. If you serve during war you are eligible for significant benefits.
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Davenport Jul 2023
But it depends on length of service, doesn’t it? My 72 yo hubby was in the army and Vietnam for 3 years but he doesn’t qualify for VA benefits.
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I’m a little bit confused here. Your stated that your father at 78 years of age is getting Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). This is strange! Are you sure that your father is receiving SSDI and not Social Security retirement benefits? Normally, Social Security will convert SSDI to Social Security retirement benefits once someone reaches the full age of retirement.
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Dupedwife Jul 2023
I was on SSDI at one point, but once I reached the full age of retirement Social Security sent me a letter stating that they were converting my SSDI to Social Security retirement benefits.
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Confer with an Elder Law Attorney. There are many many things to consider in your and your parents situation.
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If your dad is a veteran, I would contact Patriot Angels. They are a third party organization who can do a free consultation with you to determine benefit eligibility for your dad - or you as caregiver for him.

If your dad is eligible for monthly benefits and you want to use Patriot Angels to apply on your behalf, they charge and one-time fee.

After wasting a year trying on my own to secure benefits for my mother as the widow of a veteran, I decided to use Patriot Angels. My mother is now receiving Aid and Attendance monthly, so the fee was well worth it. The VA also paid retroactively from the application date on April 1.
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First things first: You won't know what (if any) benefits through the Veteran's Admin. your father might be missing out on, until you talk with a Rep. or Counselor with the VA. You live in a town that is near Houston, where the VA is located near the Astrodome, at 6900 Almeda Rd, Houston, TX 77030. You won't know until you "try" by talking with the VA about what benefits your father might be eligible for. I have heard of the VA providing "home health care" at some level, and this would enable you to work outside your parents' home and build up your own Soc. Sec. account and build up perhaps your self esteem. The Houston Veteran's Admin. gets mixed reviews. Some state that they were greatly helped. Have your father's service record (years of service) handy when you speak with them. One number I find is 800-827-1000. Another I find is 713-797-8985. Tell anyone you speak with you are seeking to understand Benefits for which your father may be eligible. Take notes, write down date and name of VA person to whom you speak. You will not know, until you try, "what" your Dad may be eligible for. Retroactive compensation is highly unlikely. Another topic: Be ready to share with a VA Benefits counselor, what your father already receives, i.e. amount of SSDI he currently is paid. If there is an American Legion post in Livingston area, or a VFW Post: Sometimes there are helpful volunteers at these posts who can assist you in knowing how to ask the right questions or how to make the most of your visit with the VA. Get as much help as you can to propel you outside their home, even part time, to get employment for yourself.
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Sickofmyparents Jul 2023
Caregiving IS a full time job. 24/7 for some. Implying that it is not, and someone should seek outside employment to ‘get some self esteem’ is just utterly offensive.
Do you also tell full time housewives they should get a job for some self esteem?
This person asked for help, they did not ask for your opinion about their self esteem.
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go to your local dept area of aging with proof that you are their son and make an appt to be compensated. its not that much money but maybe $200. call the va too with all his information too.
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Offer it up.
They are family. They cared for you, nowits your turn . . .
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Abby2018 Jul 2023
Hmm......she obviously has "offered it up" for three long years.....with many more to go. Caregiving is an enormous responsibility that eventually strips away any resemblance of a normal life. She not only deserves compensation but is entitled to it (in at least some capacity). To equate taking care of ones parents because "they cared for you" is not only simplistic but insulting. Parents decline and it cannot be compared to a growing child who learn the skills of self sufficiency. No. matter how much you love your parents it eventually will become mind numbing and devastating emotionally.
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Retroactive pay, maybe impossible, I don’t know.

But if your dad has money, if you don’t need to worry about the 5-year look-back, he can gift you money. And that money can equal the compensation you feel is just. It can be a gift. There’s a limit to how much gift is tax free.

I strongly encourage you to get financially what’s just, for your past work. You deserve every bit of it.
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Unfortunately as a spouse, I do not qualify to be compensated by the VA for the 24/7 care I provide. As a daughter you are eligible to be compensated if certain guidelines are met. If you read the guidelines, be sure you don't "disqualify yourself" by not following through with everyone's suggestion of contacting your county veterans affairs office. They know the important details that may qualify you even if you think you aren't eligible. They may only back pay to the date of your application... so get started on that right away.

We weren't interested in VA health care because we had good insurance and did not want to change providers. BUT, once I started looking for respite care and got him into the system I learned he only had to go for an annual check up and we could continue using our private providers for everything else. I didn't receive the respite care right away like I hoped for but in the mean time he received hearing aids, eyeglasses, wheel chair, U-Step Walker (specifically for neurological issues), incontinence products and so much more that has saved us a lot of money. We finally began receiving benefits to have someone assist me in his care.

If he has gotten no care from the VA, start there first! Contact your local VA hospital and they will direct you to the office to get enrolled.
https://www.va.gov/health-care/how-to-apply/

My husband is 75 with Parkinson's and I would love to chat with you if you would like to contact me privately. A lot of navigating the VA is knowing what to ask for because sometimes individual VA providers aren't aware of what the other departments might make available to you.
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Justperforming Jul 2023
I am a spouse to a vet getting disability. The VA is paying me a monthly stipend to care for him.
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Certainly contact your county VA office .. it’s not the VA. make an appointment. (If you can’t locate the number maybe your county office of aged and disabilities can help you with that. )
They will tell you what you need to bring. My VA county office helped me make the application for aide and attendance for my mom.. my Dad was sent to Thailand during the Vietnam war.. so it’s not specific to Vietnam , but specific to the war itself.
Lot of time and effort but worth the benefits.
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Also if anyone Veteran, can get help that way as well in addition to CDPAP family & friends caregivers.
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Check out CDPAP Medicaid requirements.
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Retroactive pay? Forget it. I hope your mom is getting Social Security too. Your dad is no longer getting SSDI, that converted to regular Social Security when he reached his full retirement age.
Did your dad serve in VietNam and was possibly exposed to Agent Orange? If so, with his diagnosis of Parkinson's he could get 100% disability benefits which are about $3700 per month now. By all means contact the VA or a veterans group like the VFW or your state for help in accessing VA benefits. He may also be eligible for medical care through the VA. You need to get a Durable Power of Attorney for him ( might be too late for Mom depending on how far her Alzheimers has advanced). Contact the numerous Parkinson's organizations for information and advice. Start planning ahead for yourself because it's unlikely that you will be able to provide all the necessary care for two disabled adults with progressively degenerative diseases
Better than getting paid yourself for providing for their care, use resources to help them. Find a better paying job than caregiver for yourself, out of the house, so you have a life outside of their care.
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Grandma1954 Jul 2023
He does not have to have served IN Vietnam. People serving in Laos and also what they are calling "Blue Water Veterans"
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Forget about trying to get paid for what you have done in the past.
Your parents can pay you. There should be a contract indicating that you are providing care.
Since dad is a Veteran the VA may pay you to care for them. contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or the VA and find out what programs are available. Very good possibility that dad will have a % of "service connected disability". There may be funds available such as VA Aid and Attendance as well as other programs. This should be the first call you make.
Check with your local Senior Services they may be aware of programs that will pay you for caregiving.
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Contact the VA for what you might be missing out on. Veterans have a lot of benefits, so you will need to contact them and ask how to ascertain your parents' eligibility. Have your Dad's service ID number at hand. I will hope that someone here has done this and can guide you in how to get started.

As to payment for services already rendered by you to your parents, that will not happen, so you can let go of that one. Some states will pay family through the medicaid program a small stipend; it isn't enough to support you. And because medicaid does clawback on any home your parents may have you cannot afford to do this care, ending up homeless and without a job history. Check with your own States policies re SSDI and payment for family caregivers.

I would speak with an Elder Law Attorney. You need a ONE HOUR consult (and specify that) to find out what choices and possiblities there are for you. You also need to know what documentation you need such as POA, and need a grounding on the DUTIES and the rights of a POA, and whether you feel capable of undertaking that task.

Are you the only child in the area? Are there other children outside the area who are any support to you and your parents? Do they own their own home?

I do suggest you get good, solid legal advice. Might this cost you as much as 1K if you need a few hours? Yes, it might. But you will know what you can access to help you.

I hope Igloo is around and about on the Forum because she will have some good advice for you as well.

AARP had a volunteer hot line now. The way it works is that you call, and you say where you live and when they can contact you. Then they have a volunteer in your area call you with access to information idea for you in your area. That number is 1-888-281-0145. If this turns out to be of help I would love to know, as this is a new service they just posted in their last magazine and I don't know many who have tried it.

Good luck, SUNNY, and welcome to Forum.
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