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My shelter had quarterly meetings for all of us, even those who weren’t involved in the medical. We had eap to call.


This senior facility has none of that. All he could do was text me.

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Yes, your DH can always send a card.
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Poor DH! ! I wonder if he could ask administration for the family's address to send a card.

Maybe he should speak to the facility social worker about setting up a system for staff to acknowledge deaths and send a card.
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PeggySue2020 Mar 17, 2024
Typically, a facility won’t supply an address to an employee. they shouldn’t have to. Just get a card for families and post it in the break room…
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I can’t imagine how hard that it must be to work in a facility. Yeah, I know that people are trained not to get personally involved in order to get the job done. Still, people are affected on some level.

NPR did a show on this topic once and it was very interesting. They interviewed a hospice social worker who said that he felt as though he couldn’t truly connect with a patient until he developed a personal connection with them.

I am glad that your husband has you to talk to about his feelings that he deals with in his profession.

Are you concerned about your husband continuing in this field?

Does he enjoy his work? Or is it taking a toll on him?
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PeggySue2020 Mar 16, 2024
Thanks needs. Generally his boundaries are ok but like everyone else, he’s human. He gets to know people.
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Thats a shame. I have never had a job where when we lost a coworker or the coworker lost a LO the bosses got involved. Usually one of the coworkers designate themselves to get the card and collect money for flowers. When it comes to a facility like ur DH works in, death is a given. It happens all the time.

I know my Mom was well loved at her NH. I went in after her death and picked up her belongings. I never went back. I never received a card.
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Did Mrs. S pass away?
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PeggySue2020 Mar 16, 2024
Yeah. He got called up to help the morticians escort the body away from other people.
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There was this woman mrs s that he was “friends” with in the professional sense. I will call her Mrs. S. Mrs S was the resident for whom workers in multiple departments did linger a moment or more later to chat as she was so nice to be around.

Theres not even a card signing! Like seriously why aren’t staff provided an oversized card?
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Could you give us a few details here.
I am lost.
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PeggySue, was your DH affected by something at his job at the senior residence he works at?
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I can only speak to the facilities that I have personally seen 'in action'

They do have support systems. Either a SW, or in one case, a psychologist on staff to handle emotional issues.

Caregiving in this kind of situation is not for the faint of heart. You do need to be strong on your own--and support the other staff members.

I know the facility that housed my MIL for an entire 8 days(!) had so many levels of administration, one of them being a social worker for both the patients and CG's themselves. My MIL only lasted 8 days in this place, through no fault of theirs, she passed away very quickly. Grief counselors were johnny-on-the-spot. None of the staff knew her, but I know they have counseling available. The expectation in these places is that people are going to die--and many of the CG's get close to the clients.

I'm a little baffled by your post. Are you advocating for someone? Or just feeling like you don't have the necessary support? I hope you come back and clear this up.
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