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I have to work full time and can not afford a caregiver for my mother with dementia/ Early Alzheimer’s. I keep finding poop on the toilet, sometimes the TP roll, floor, etc. I don’t know if she is washing her hands while I am at work and I am going to drive myself crazy worrying about the things she might be touching when I am not there (like ice cubes). I have walked into the kitchen to find her putting ointment on certain places and get disgusted the 10 seconds she washes her hands when she knows I am watching. I love her but this is really getting to me. She gets mad when I ask her to wash her hands. She will sometimes ask to help me with cooking but I say no because of the sanitation issues. Any suggestions? Thank you

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You need to apply for Medicaid for your mom so that she can get the level of care she needs.

YOUR income is not what matters here. HER resources are what take care of her. And she needs a higher level of care NOW.
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A person at this level needs to be accompanied to the toilet and a sink of warm soapy water run for them afterwards, or a wet wipe handed to them. You don't drag, you accompany and make it part of the routine.
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So you have a lovely warm soapy washcloth that you bring to them and help wash their hands, or at least a couple of baby wipes. If someone is helping with the toileting there should be less opportunity for it to get on their hands, and it's a good idea to keep the nails trimmed short too!
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Getting Medicaid and a caregiver sound like a correct course of action, but how do you get someone with dementia to wash hands after using the toilet? Nagging can only go so far, and you cannot drag the person to the sink like you could with a child.
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This unsanitary situation would bother me, too. Any of your food could be contaminated with e-coli.

Your profile says you care for her living "at home." Is that living in her home, or is she living in your home?

I definitely agree with the above posters who say it's time for a higher level of care.
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