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I am a caregiver for my boyfriend and we have been together 9 years (he was diagnosed with Mild Cognitive Impairment 3 years ago). He lives in my home and does pay rent, but his family keeps talking him out of signing POA to me for fiscal or medical. They really have nothing to do with him, except to ask for money each month and it is getting increasingly difficult for me to be the sole caregiver on my dime (so to speak). I am 59 so have to continue to work to support myself and pay my bills, but do not know what I am going to do as his dementia worsens. I am concerned what will happen if one of them gets fiscal POA and then I will have to support him totally. I really am not able to do that. Any suggestions on how to best make sure I am able to continue to care for him as his condition worsens or some way to convince him in one of his clear-headed moments to sign power of attorney so I am able to continue to care for him?

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Depending on how advanced his dementia is, he may no longer be considered capable of assigning POA to anyone.

The general consensus here is that it is not a good idea to provide care with no authority to make decisions.

There is another worrying point in your post. If he is gifting his family money and is you are in the US, it will have an impact on future options for care. He may be ineligible for Medicaid in the future. This can have a major financial impact on families long after the money has been spent.

It is really important that the two of you sit down with an eldercare attorney to determine just where you stand.
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Vikki, I'm going to tell you a harsh truth. NO one should be a hands on caregiver without either fair compensation or Power of Attorney so that the caregiver can pay for ongoing care.

Your partner is going to have to make a choice; give you POA so that his care needs are paid from HIS resources (and no more gifts to family as it will disqualify him from Medicaid) OR he moves on and gets his care needs met by THEM.

You are being used. Don't stand for it.
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POA does not mean they take his money away. It means they are responsible for paying his bills and if one of that is rent to you...if he still capable of understanding, get a rental contract with him in place. This will also benefit him if he needs Medicaid in the future. I would also check out, if he receives it, being SS payee for him. Even a pension. Then u control the money.

No, he should not be giving his family any money. And you should not be required to support him. He should be paying his way as much as he can. I would explain to him, without POA you have no say in how he wants things. To be honest, I would not be his caregiver without it.
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